Resolutions.
Like jumping from one stone to another we have made it to a new year. Classically so, we all try and make resolutions and we must remember to try and make changes to our lives but not try and change ourselves completely because we are who we are and we all contribute- any time you try and change yourself it never works. Here's to bettering what we already know and have, to improve our mind, body and soul. Resolution means a firm decision to do or not do something, and the quality of being determined or resolute. I have made my decisions:
1. Continue To Love and Appreciate Myself. i have grown drastically in confidence since cutting my hair off, i suddenly see my beauty and want to tackle life with the belief i actually can. I still have a little ways to go though trusting in my ability, thinking i'm pretty and knowing i'm good enough. This in no way means i think I'm above anyone it's simply knowing MY worth and value on this planet (the hippy is back) as there will be only one of me so lets make my time fantastic.
2. Do not Let negative thoughts In/Think everyone thinks badly of you. I have a TERRIBLE habit of thinking people don't like me for whatever weird reason and generally thinking badly about myself, it has lessened as my confidence improves but i really need to stop going over and over bad things in my mind (especially before bed, am i right?) first of all i'm going with the age old phrase 'what people think of me is none of my business' its very true, if they aren't worried about you, why are you worried about them- this is not to confuse that 'cut people out of my life' thing people do i'm not into that i believe i can get on with everyone, some closer than others. Some i don't talk to, but if i don't, i'm not talking about them either. Positive thoughts and less self doubt will always put a smile on your face.
3. Save Money. I always have enough to pay for whatever it is that needs paying for i seldom miss out on big events however i do sometimes miss out on the little ones. I'm 23 this year and i really need to have a couple different savings accounts; one for rainy day problems (like my washing machine that broke down) one that allows me to go out to dinner/pub/club with friends because i love sitting down to coffee with my loved ones and having a chat; i cherish quality time but cant always do it and one for the future future (house anyone?)
3 Eat Better. This is like an every month thing let alone every year! seriously though its important to take care of yourself and i'll also be doing the 30 day yoga challenge at some point this year. Socrates said it right:“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” i want to look back at all the amazing things i did.
4 Read More. fiction/non fiction. the odd encyclopedia and hopefully this Christmas i'll win all the quiz games.
5 Make Steps Towards My Life and What I Actually Want To Do With It/Be More Organised. This really should be number 1. I haven't fully pushed myself into the career i truly enjoy (acting and play writing) so i need to focus on jobs in my field and taking more risks, I had many opportunities last year that i didn't go for because i was scared. That is no longer good enough. I would like to get to 30 and feel i can openly call myself an actor and writer. I will be more organised in taking directed steps forward, be determined and take risks, as although you never know whats written out for you, you can always change the text.
I look forward to using my Daily Greatness Journal as a guide to creativity and positivity.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, 1 January 2015
Thursday, 1 May 2014
f.
The honour of an early rise.
I got to work way earlier than i should have and it gave me time to wander the high street and grab some breakfast. (Time. What a wondrous word in 21st century western society.) When it did finally come for me to start work i was incredibly refreshed, my mind was active not day dreaming and from this i was more efficient and for lack of a better word, happy. I'm usually rushed off my feet and exhausted before i start. What i came to realise is you don't need to stress over something you already have but fail to take. We all have time.
This clear sense of self and efficiency will in turn give time to you for other things as well : family, friends, that thing you've been meaning to do."I'm too busy! i lead a hectic life!" Of course you are busy, though perhaps your hectic life could be solved through a clear mindset and efficient action, the 'busyness' can subdue and your day will feel more fulfilled- and how can you gain such a thing? by taking time.
Do you ever find yourself laying in bed after your alarm has gone off wishing away the day and when you finally rise are you rushing? tired at work/with other tasks? you don't need a retreat because what you're seeking there is time. On holiday we often rise with the sun, happily go out early for breakfast or a town walk- why do we not do the same at home? Life, to me, is about fulfillment. Yes we all have to endure or do things we don't necessarily want to do but you can always find a way to make it fulfilling: reaching and breaking targets, networking that leads to other projects, using one path to clear another. I implore you to stop wasting time, have a great nights sleep and wake up exactly when you're supposed to and start your day. Do not rush. If you feel like you run out of time for example before you have to leave the house; wake earlier the next day. This will soon settle in and so will a calm, aware mind and body.
I got to work way earlier than i should have and it gave me time to wander the high street and grab some breakfast. (Time. What a wondrous word in 21st century western society.) When it did finally come for me to start work i was incredibly refreshed, my mind was active not day dreaming and from this i was more efficient and for lack of a better word, happy. I'm usually rushed off my feet and exhausted before i start. What i came to realise is you don't need to stress over something you already have but fail to take. We all have time.
This clear sense of self and efficiency will in turn give time to you for other things as well : family, friends, that thing you've been meaning to do."I'm too busy! i lead a hectic life!" Of course you are busy, though perhaps your hectic life could be solved through a clear mindset and efficient action, the 'busyness' can subdue and your day will feel more fulfilled- and how can you gain such a thing? by taking time.
Do you ever find yourself laying in bed after your alarm has gone off wishing away the day and when you finally rise are you rushing? tired at work/with other tasks? you don't need a retreat because what you're seeking there is time. On holiday we often rise with the sun, happily go out early for breakfast or a town walk- why do we not do the same at home? Life, to me, is about fulfillment. Yes we all have to endure or do things we don't necessarily want to do but you can always find a way to make it fulfilling: reaching and breaking targets, networking that leads to other projects, using one path to clear another. I implore you to stop wasting time, have a great nights sleep and wake up exactly when you're supposed to and start your day. Do not rush. If you feel like you run out of time for example before you have to leave the house; wake earlier the next day. This will soon settle in and so will a calm, aware mind and body.
Thursday, 20 March 2014
e.
clarification after sickness.
It's weird how much clarity and how open minded you feel after a terrible bout of sickness or anything else that takes you out of work and has you feeling down right disgusting.
You just kind of sleep most of the day, sometimes restless, sometimes really deep out of exhaustion but when you wake up and realise you aren't sick anymore or that you're going to be ok its like you've just had an amazing shower. You have the day to really get stuff done and recuperate.
Perhaps i also feel clarity because it's the first day of spring today, new beginnings and all that. In which I've realised my body is a temple and you get what you bloody well put in to it. I'm not going on some fitness craze because it shouldn't be about getting fit all the time but generally about wellbeing inside and out.
I'm not into holistic practice per se but i am a believer that your body is the first indication of how you're feeling, stress or otherwise and it's important to listen and respond accordingly. Your skin, nails, hair and, dare i get gross, your toilet time is a cry out for help. I've been run down for the last couple of weeks and i know it's because i think i can get away with eating junk all the time and sometimes going without dinner weakening my immune system so i caught some bug but its also been more than just that. I have been stressed as hell.
Stress affects us all differently, some people can't cope with pressure or busyness and some people thrive in it, some of us let external things that have nothing to do with US stress us out, some of us are just worriers in general and anxiety takes place over everything making us unhealthy. Your body and mind are unique little so and so's and will do anything to put itself in a better state, including trying to show us how unhappy or unhealthy we are.
'I'm fine' we all say 'let me take on your problems because i can deal with mine' we lie. But take some time to reflect. If you say you need a holiday you probably do but look at why is it you want to escape? Has something thrown you out of balance? a job or relationship not going how you wanted it to? (lol, agony aunt)
you stay up all night and only get a couple hours sleep before work or a task the next day- what is it you don't want to face? Stress is a serious problem, this intangible thing can really make us unhealthy not just unhappy. First and foremost reflect. Then, let food be thy medicine (go Socrates) more than likely out of stress you've been feeding your body but not fueling it- time to get real and treat your body with some respect in order to help your mind see a bit more clearly what it is that getting you down and how we (mind and i) can go about fixing that. (really you should do that anyway everyone knows a good diet makes a more energised, focused you.)
Clarity is: reflection and action. I reflected on how sick i had made myself and now its time to take action.
So lets see how this goes.
It's weird how much clarity and how open minded you feel after a terrible bout of sickness or anything else that takes you out of work and has you feeling down right disgusting.
You just kind of sleep most of the day, sometimes restless, sometimes really deep out of exhaustion but when you wake up and realise you aren't sick anymore or that you're going to be ok its like you've just had an amazing shower. You have the day to really get stuff done and recuperate.
Perhaps i also feel clarity because it's the first day of spring today, new beginnings and all that. In which I've realised my body is a temple and you get what you bloody well put in to it. I'm not going on some fitness craze because it shouldn't be about getting fit all the time but generally about wellbeing inside and out.
I'm not into holistic practice per se but i am a believer that your body is the first indication of how you're feeling, stress or otherwise and it's important to listen and respond accordingly. Your skin, nails, hair and, dare i get gross, your toilet time is a cry out for help. I've been run down for the last couple of weeks and i know it's because i think i can get away with eating junk all the time and sometimes going without dinner weakening my immune system so i caught some bug but its also been more than just that. I have been stressed as hell.
Stress affects us all differently, some people can't cope with pressure or busyness and some people thrive in it, some of us let external things that have nothing to do with US stress us out, some of us are just worriers in general and anxiety takes place over everything making us unhealthy. Your body and mind are unique little so and so's and will do anything to put itself in a better state, including trying to show us how unhappy or unhealthy we are.
'I'm fine' we all say 'let me take on your problems because i can deal with mine' we lie. But take some time to reflect. If you say you need a holiday you probably do but look at why is it you want to escape? Has something thrown you out of balance? a job or relationship not going how you wanted it to? (lol, agony aunt)
you stay up all night and only get a couple hours sleep before work or a task the next day- what is it you don't want to face? Stress is a serious problem, this intangible thing can really make us unhealthy not just unhappy. First and foremost reflect. Then, let food be thy medicine (go Socrates) more than likely out of stress you've been feeding your body but not fueling it- time to get real and treat your body with some respect in order to help your mind see a bit more clearly what it is that getting you down and how we (mind and i) can go about fixing that. (really you should do that anyway everyone knows a good diet makes a more energised, focused you.)
Clarity is: reflection and action. I reflected on how sick i had made myself and now its time to take action.
So lets see how this goes.
d.
Conversations with my body.
I studied theatre arts at university and have recently taken up an acting course to further my practice in an all too complicated craft. For the first term i was met by a small and powerful Trinidadian lady who would teach me a thing or two about my body, the core, and it's importance in life and acting.
We would start the lesson moving around, literally just moving our body in as many warped ways as we could, travelling across the room arms up in the air, rolling on the floor, squatting and pointing our toes. Then we were asked to walk. simple. just strut my stuff, right? WRONG. Greta Mendez a dance and acting teacher was able to look at your walk or stance and see injury, bad posture, even an emotional state you were in. We spent classes trying to free our bodies from the 21st century constraints, for example: ladies don't walk particularly strong, we don't use our thighs enough to lead us more our hips, hence why many cant get a leading role in acting, our focus on technology had stopped us from exploring and using the body and sitting down had ruined our spines.
"The body moves in spirals" She would say. She would never call it moving but having a 'conversation with her body' and breathing was 'inspiration and aspiration', not in and out. Another task thrust upon us was our ability to 'deliver', Greta would ask a question and stop you in your answer if you sounded at all weak. Language was to be respected it took someone a long time to come up with letters of an alphabet and those letters put together for words are not to be wasted. They are important, choosing a certain word to get a certain message across. None of us spoke from our core. So we spent weeks either making tableau's or pairing up and writhing across the room shouting strange things at each other trying to get it to come from the gut.
Many times i found myself furious at what she was asking of me, it seemed like she had this beyond hippy outlook on life and i was expected to understand it straight away so when i didn't she would give me a hard time. One tipping point lesson in particular i had to position myself in a tableau and where ever i put myself she told me i was wrong, to come out and look at the picture and then go back in. I yelled at her: I'm not going to see whatever it is, you want me to. She told me i shouldn't give up so easy.
fudge.
she's got me there. I do give up more easily than i'd like to in life. Perhaps i found it easier to let someone else get it right/win and i could coast on by but Greta wasn't about to let me do that. I succeeded eventually through my stubbornness and when i went home i found this weird sensation to move. To literally stretch my body up and down and explore how far i could push myself. In lessons after that i was very open.
It wasn't just about acting but about life and the world around me. I have a new appreciation for it, and in turn being able to tap into my body and the way i use it in the external will help me fulfill characters; become somebody else.
She once made us hold an orange, smell it, stare at all the colourings, dimples and scratches then very slowly peel open and taste the orange. She said all the world was in this orange; the wind that blew the seeds, the earth that brought it up, the sun and water that fed it, the man who picked it, the man who put it on the supermarket shelf... everything. SOOOOO hippy, but true.
I now try and hold regular 'conversations with my body' perhaps not so warped as before, but stretching and dancing to not forget my abilities. This amazing body i was given in this amazing world is to be appreciated not bound. As an actor in particular my body is my instrument but if i wasn't an actor i would still want to respect such an incredible thing as being alive on earth (i'm now a hippy)
I sometimes fear we find an ipad more interesting than an ocean- if you get me.
So if you do nothing else today, get up and just move. You'll be surprised what you find!
I studied theatre arts at university and have recently taken up an acting course to further my practice in an all too complicated craft. For the first term i was met by a small and powerful Trinidadian lady who would teach me a thing or two about my body, the core, and it's importance in life and acting.
We would start the lesson moving around, literally just moving our body in as many warped ways as we could, travelling across the room arms up in the air, rolling on the floor, squatting and pointing our toes. Then we were asked to walk. simple. just strut my stuff, right? WRONG. Greta Mendez a dance and acting teacher was able to look at your walk or stance and see injury, bad posture, even an emotional state you were in. We spent classes trying to free our bodies from the 21st century constraints, for example: ladies don't walk particularly strong, we don't use our thighs enough to lead us more our hips, hence why many cant get a leading role in acting, our focus on technology had stopped us from exploring and using the body and sitting down had ruined our spines.
"The body moves in spirals" She would say. She would never call it moving but having a 'conversation with her body' and breathing was 'inspiration and aspiration', not in and out. Another task thrust upon us was our ability to 'deliver', Greta would ask a question and stop you in your answer if you sounded at all weak. Language was to be respected it took someone a long time to come up with letters of an alphabet and those letters put together for words are not to be wasted. They are important, choosing a certain word to get a certain message across. None of us spoke from our core. So we spent weeks either making tableau's or pairing up and writhing across the room shouting strange things at each other trying to get it to come from the gut.
Many times i found myself furious at what she was asking of me, it seemed like she had this beyond hippy outlook on life and i was expected to understand it straight away so when i didn't she would give me a hard time. One tipping point lesson in particular i had to position myself in a tableau and where ever i put myself she told me i was wrong, to come out and look at the picture and then go back in. I yelled at her: I'm not going to see whatever it is, you want me to. She told me i shouldn't give up so easy.
fudge.
she's got me there. I do give up more easily than i'd like to in life. Perhaps i found it easier to let someone else get it right/win and i could coast on by but Greta wasn't about to let me do that. I succeeded eventually through my stubbornness and when i went home i found this weird sensation to move. To literally stretch my body up and down and explore how far i could push myself. In lessons after that i was very open.
It wasn't just about acting but about life and the world around me. I have a new appreciation for it, and in turn being able to tap into my body and the way i use it in the external will help me fulfill characters; become somebody else.
She once made us hold an orange, smell it, stare at all the colourings, dimples and scratches then very slowly peel open and taste the orange. She said all the world was in this orange; the wind that blew the seeds, the earth that brought it up, the sun and water that fed it, the man who picked it, the man who put it on the supermarket shelf... everything. SOOOOO hippy, but true.
I now try and hold regular 'conversations with my body' perhaps not so warped as before, but stretching and dancing to not forget my abilities. This amazing body i was given in this amazing world is to be appreciated not bound. As an actor in particular my body is my instrument but if i wasn't an actor i would still want to respect such an incredible thing as being alive on earth (i'm now a hippy)
I sometimes fear we find an ipad more interesting than an ocean- if you get me.
So if you do nothing else today, get up and just move. You'll be surprised what you find!
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
a.
sometimes you have to stay unhappy.
I don't mean forever of course, what i do mean is in the moment of unhappiness and stress we should acknowledge and accept that fact.
your unhappiness doesn't need fixing. Instead of saying 'I'm mad' or 'I'm disappointed that xyz hasn't happened' and accepting that and being that for a moment we tend to dissolve into this pit of despair and drag up allllllllllllll the things that have made us unhappy in our lives and allllllllllll the reasons we could be and will be happy when we fix ourselves like a certain image, outlook, clothes and style, blah blah but what if you just say 'I'm ..... right now. And that's okay.'
Because it is OK. For example 'I am pissed I haven't got this' and 'I'm stressed I haven't got that' doesn't turn into "....because so and so didn't give me this opportunity and if I had of done this, that and the rest of it I would be driving a Mercedes right now and so tomorrow i'm going on that diet that will make my boss promote me." That isn't happiness. I'm coming to learn its an internal thing, not a possession to be lost and found. It's a mood you feel alongside any other but often we stress ourselves trying to get into it. You'll find yourself a lot 'happier' when you say i'm sad, i might cry for a bit or yell or whatever it is i do and then go to sleep and let go of the restraints i put on myself and let tomorrow come to me. A new day.
the thing you are feeling stressed/anxious/mad about is NOT the first thing you think of when you wake up. When you fully wake up and open you eyes subconsciously your body and mind says 'i'm alive' then it says 'where am i?' then your mind tells you what it is you need to do right now (go to work, or back to sleep, HA!) but it doesn't care about your emotions which i suppose shows you the stress isn't that important.
whatever it is, it isn't that important.
So when you're mad. Be MAD. and when you want to cry, CRY. be in that feeling for a moment. Just be, acknowledge and accept. And i assure you, the bad feeling won't be there for long.
I don't mean forever of course, what i do mean is in the moment of unhappiness and stress we should acknowledge and accept that fact.
your unhappiness doesn't need fixing. Instead of saying 'I'm mad' or 'I'm disappointed that xyz hasn't happened' and accepting that and being that for a moment we tend to dissolve into this pit of despair and drag up allllllllllllll the things that have made us unhappy in our lives and allllllllllll the reasons we could be and will be happy when we fix ourselves like a certain image, outlook, clothes and style, blah blah but what if you just say 'I'm ..... right now. And that's okay.'
Because it is OK. For example 'I am pissed I haven't got this' and 'I'm stressed I haven't got that' doesn't turn into "....because so and so didn't give me this opportunity and if I had of done this, that and the rest of it I would be driving a Mercedes right now and so tomorrow i'm going on that diet that will make my boss promote me." That isn't happiness. I'm coming to learn its an internal thing, not a possession to be lost and found. It's a mood you feel alongside any other but often we stress ourselves trying to get into it. You'll find yourself a lot 'happier' when you say i'm sad, i might cry for a bit or yell or whatever it is i do and then go to sleep and let go of the restraints i put on myself and let tomorrow come to me. A new day.
the thing you are feeling stressed/anxious/mad about is NOT the first thing you think of when you wake up. When you fully wake up and open you eyes subconsciously your body and mind says 'i'm alive' then it says 'where am i?' then your mind tells you what it is you need to do right now (go to work, or back to sleep, HA!) but it doesn't care about your emotions which i suppose shows you the stress isn't that important.
whatever it is, it isn't that important.
So when you're mad. Be MAD. and when you want to cry, CRY. be in that feeling for a moment. Just be, acknowledge and accept. And i assure you, the bad feeling won't be there for long.
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